Spontaneity

It’s Friday.  You ponder over the previous week.  Work, class, meetings, more work.  You get excited thinking about the nap that you were able to sneak in midweek, or the dollar you found in the pocket of your jeans while attempting to fold laundry.

We’ve all been there.

But is it really a place we want to stay?  Do we want to go through each day, each week, doing the same mundane things?  “Absolutely not” is the first thought that races through my mind.  In reality, however, that answer is, more often than not, far from the truth.  We have certain priorities in our life that keep us from encountering new experiences.  The priorities in my life right now are school and work , mainly because they are the foundations that will ultimately provide me with what I need in order to live a successful life.  Well, a successful life by society’s standards anyway.  Yes, I understand I need a job and money to survive in the US, but I don’t think accomplishing just those two things can place me in the “successful” category.  I think they make me boring.  Dull and boring!

I’ve contributed my share of everyday life/ school stories in conversations, only to be met with yawns and wandering eyes searching for a clock or a reason to leave. And hey, I still cause people to do that!  But now I understand how important spontaneity really is and how much excitement it contributes to conversations and, more importantly, all aspects of life. 

Trying new things and taking chances opens up opportunities and allows you to relate to more people, plus it gives you the chance to look at situations in a new light.  That, and people might actually listen to you when you tell them about the fantastic adventures you’ve been on. 

Go on a two day road trip somewhere random, wear an outfit that isn’t your normal style, smile at strangers and talk to them in line at the grocery store, take a class that you wouldn’t have considered in the past, or, if you’re looking to start small, simply take a different route home.  Do anything to get you out of your set routine.  I think you’ll find the newfound excitement intriguing and irresistible. J

Pop a Top

I don’t advocate the drinking of pop or beer daily, but enjoying a can every once in awhile is okay.  Some basic and obvious guidelines for enjoying your favorite carbonated beverage…

1.       Do not shake your pop/beer before opening it

2.       Sip slowly, so as to avoid indigestion

3.       Recycle the can/ bottle when finished

So you’re wondering why on earth I am talking about how to drink a can of pop when it is clearly the most effortless task on this planet.  Well, the only reason I am writing about it is because I had a thought today regarding its relation to communication.  Yes that’s right, communication. 

Before I explain the correlation, let me first say that communication is, I think, one of the most crucial components of any relationship.  From the time you were a child you had to communicate with your parents so your most basic needs could be met. “I’m hungry, Dad,” or “Mom, Where’s my jacket? I’m cold.”  We grow and increase our ability to express ourselves by telling friends what we like and dislike, and then every once in awhile we find a person with whom we can share with more openly.  We communicate needs, wants, fears, and desires. Without a deeper level of communication I don’t think we can form the relationships that we so desperately wish for in life.

So, here’s my correlation.  It’s not all definite or entirely correct, this I know.  I’m just basing it off of my own encounters and experiences.

1.       Don’t shake the can= If you meet someone and you want to develop that deeper conversation, don’t be aggressive about it.  You may want to jump right in, but you can’t get in their face and demand that they tell you about their darkest secrets after only talking with them for 5 minutes.  

2.       Sip slowly- Approach certain topics with caution.  Some people don’t like talking about their fears, the death of loved ones, etc as much as others do.  They need to take more time getting to know the person before they share any of that information with them.  And don’t discuss so many intense topics in one sitting.  It’s exhausting, and a lot to take in.

3.       Recycle- revisit the topics every once in awhile.  People may share more than they did the time before, and new topics can emerge from the old ones.

Crazy how you can find deeper meaning behind a can of pop.  Or maybe it’s just my absurd ideas getting the best of me.  But I do know this.  If you try your best to open up to others and express your vulnerabilities without shame, good things will result.  You may not get the reaction you are looking for from everyone (I hope they would be understanding though), but you discover more about yourself. You realize that by admitting your vulnerabilities you grow one step closer to understanding who you are as an individual.  That you are not alone when it comes to feeling inadequate, sadness, loneliness, and hurt.  That we need others to love us as we are, faults and all, and that they need the same from us.

Science Labs

I realized something about myself today.  Actually, I’ve always known it, but for some reason today it became so clear.  I hate science labs.  I hate them.  Biology 103, Biology 207, Biology 940333, Chemistry, Biochemistry, Microbiology.  All of them. Dislike.  

Aside from Anatomy and Physiology, I don’t see a reason or need for those labs. In anatomy you learn the basic functions of the body and how the organs work together.  I remember our cadaver and animal labs where my professor showed us various organs.  Some were healthy, others were not.  He would say, “This is the liver.  It filters your wastes and aids in metabolism.  Treat it well, otherwise it will turn into this.”  At that point he held up a blackish, shriveled up looking wad.  I don’t know about you, but I think that learning how to preserve your organs is pretty useful information.  

Now microbiology I don’t understand.  What I’m supposed to learn from taking random nasty microbes, spreading them all over an agar petri dish, and watching them grow is beyond me.  I don’t care about how many colonies develop or if the bacteria are round or cocci-shaped.  I. Don’t. Care.

I’m terrible.  I know I should be interested in this stuff.  But I’m never, on my spare time, going to grab 6 petri dishes (I don’t even know where you would BUY petri dishes…don’t think any Walmart or Target carries them) and spread bacteria all over them to see what happens. Ok, I probably won’t go out looking for a bunch of livers to observe either, but I would MUCH rather study organs than various forms of yeast.  

I should really try and change my attitude regarding my hate for science labs.  My group members, along with my professor, are starting to catch on that I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Richard Simmons than be in lab.  Maybe if I start paying attention I’ll actually gain some insight as to why the class is important and how it will be useful to me in the future.  

... but I’m not holding my breath.  

It's funny

It’s funny,

how gazing up at the stars at night

causes me to view my life in a completely different way,

and that the shortest phrase

can conjure up emotions I never knew existed.

It’s funny,

that money and fear keep me from taking chances,

but are also my biggest motivators.

How I want so badly the things

that I know are so bad for me,

and that I can stand in a room full of people

and still feel completely alone.

It’s funny,

That I desperately want to find a respectful man,

yet date ignorant men that don’t even respect themselves.

That children can teach us more than

our professors ever could,

And that life is not like a box of chocolates,

but rather like your mom’s mystery casserole. 

It may appear unpleasant and cause you to question its contents,

But once tried is actually quite marvelous.

"Becoming Myself"

I recently read “Becoming Myself,” a book of short memoires written by well known, successful women from all across the United States. Topics ranged from childhood tragedies and grade school crushes to stories of inner beauty and power achieved through personal and career accomplishments.

Sally Fisher, artist and illustrator, wrote something that really struck me.  She writes, “I have learned that women are warriors who need no weapons, who can love and redefine the paradigms of war and peace, who can disarm an enemy with an embrace. Women know that food, compassion, and understanding are more powerful than bullets, bombs, and blockades.  Women understand that our own wounds- from the skinned knees and scraped elbows of childhood to the broken hearts of romance to the deep wounds of abuse and longing- can all be healed and beckon us to walk the road toward our magnificent, extraordinary, divine women selves.  The payoff for being born female.”

Her words reassure me.  They help me take solace in the fact that women hold within them something deep and influential, even when they do not think or appear to be as successful or as powerful as men.  The problem is that many women forget they have this ambition, this hunger for passion, within them.  It gets covered up, forgotten, underneath the pain and disappointment of heartbreak, adversity, and societal expectations.  

We stop searching for that passion if it is covered up long enough.  We start to think that it isn’t in God’s will for us to be someone that can accomplish life changing goals.  We settle and coast through life, contributing only what is asked or expected of us.  Why? Why don’t women try to achieve more in life?  Are we afraid that our efforts will not be commended or supported, or that they will become the butt of every joke in men’s conversations? I can’t speak for the other women out there, but that is what often stops me.

Perhaps we don’t try to achieve our full potential because of our own feelings associated with failure.  All of the pain that we have already suffered through is enough.  We don’t need to add yet another disappointment to our list.  But the thing is, if you don’t try to accomplish the unordinary than you risk not reaching you inner happiness and peace of mind.  That inner peace of mind is power. It is proof that you are good enough, that you don’t have to be or act a certain way to know that you are worthy and have a purpose.

We may risk losing a lot when we take chances, but I think women have much more to gain if they stand up and take action.  Do what you think is right, even if it conflicts with the norm.  In the long run, you’ll be glad you did.

New Tires

I just got new tires put on my car.  My flat, while extremely inconvenient, took place at the right time. It is almost winter, and my little ole Honda Civic was due for a tire rotation and checkup anyway. 

But I can’t help but think that my flat was some sort of sign.  (Shut it, I know what you’re thinking.  Signs are ridiculous and made up. That they are irrelevant and cause unneeded superstition.  But you know what? I don’t care.  I don’t regard all the signs that are thrown my way, but this one I wanted to consider).  Basically, my flat was God’s way of saying, “Look, Sarah.  You need to slow down and get your act together. Stop, get out of the mess you are in, change your attitude, and find a different road to travel on because the one you are taking is leading you in the wrong direction.”   Fine.  Maybe not what I wanted to hear, but deep down I know it’s what I should do.

So, with my new set of wheels, I am going to try picking a different route.  Maybe I’ll pick the wrong path yet again, but at least I’ll be one mile closer to finding the right one.   

The Hidden Truth

• When someone tells a hilarious story, I laugh so hard that it becomes a “silent” laugh
•   I say that I’m a great dancer, but I rely on a good lead
•  I don’t always like talking to people over the phone
•  I tell people I’m great when they ask me how I am, even on the days when I feel 2 inches tall
• I get extremely anxious just thinking about public speaking
•  I care about people who don’t care about me
•  According to society I am an adult, but some days I feel the exact opposite
• I cry just thinking about losing my parents
• I like spending a few hours alone every day, but I fear spending my entire life alone
• When my classmates ask dumb questions, I unintentionally give them this open-mouthed, “Did you seriously just ask that?” look
• I hate gardening (which is why I like farmers markets so much), but I tell people I like it because as a future dietitian I'm expected to like it
• I become self-conscious when I think about my height, large thighs, and bellybutton.  
• I have terrible fashion sense, but I feel more confident when I take the time to look put together
• I love singing really loud, but only when I’m alone in my car or bedroom
• I want to find a guy who loves me for me, and not just what he can get from me
• During Christmas break my brother and I watch old home videos.  His laugh is out of this world, and makes the movies that much more entertaining
• I get cranky when I can’t work out
• I go through phases when it comes to wanting kids.  Sometimes those phases last a mere 2 hours
• I have this inner resentment towards people who complain about how shitty their life is when they are irresponsible and extremely lazy
• I want to slap people who use the phrase “fml” for things as trivial as having to get up for an 8 am class and are running 5 minutes late, that their favorite team lost in the playoffs, that they put in overtime this weekend, or that they have so much homework due to procrastination.  Be thankful, people, that you even have these things to complain about. 
• I think the human body, and the fact that all 11 systems work together so miraculously, is almost inconceivable.  It’s astonishing how the body can maintain adequate health for a substantial amount of time even after the harm and destruction we put on it.  
• I think people throw around the phrase “I love you” without thinking much about it.  At the same time, I feel it is not said enough to the people that deserve it the most.