Intimidation Factor

Meeting someone new can be a very scary thing.  “Will they like me?”  “Will I meet their expectations?”  All sorts of crazies run through our minds.  Well, maybe not.  I can only speak for myself.  But I imagine the majority of you have travelled down that path at least once or twice.

It’s different in every situation.  And with every person.  Take, for instance, these types of scenarios:

MEETING WHO?	WEIRD/ AWKWARD THOUGHTS I MIGHT HAVE
A new roommate	Will they criticize the weird things I eat?  How long before I can fart in front of them without them giving me the “you’re a freak” stare?  They’ll be so much more social than me, and I’ll be the loser watching “Big Bang Theory” on weekends.
A potential mate	Are they bored with what I’m talking about? How soon should I kiss them?  And should I kiss them, or should I let THEM make the first move? The dreadful pause during a conversation…how on earth am I going to fill it?!
An instructor/ preceptor	I’ll say something and they’ll think I’m completely unintelligent/ unqualified, and that I should head to admissions and drop the class immediately.  What if my stomach growls during the only silent 7 seconds of class? What if I ask a question and they don’t understand it, and they (with an annoyed expression) go on about something they just explained?

I feel that we suffer through that intimidation factor way more than we should allow ourselves to.  It’s especially bad when we think these things before we’ve ever even met someone.  I do it.  We all do it.  I think it’s because we often feel intimidated by the unknown. 

Take a look at the bigger picture and realize that these people, no matter their title, are all human.  They all have similar feelings.  They may or may not have had more, or different, experiences than we have.  But the point is they’ve dealt with anxiety, nervousness, anticipation, heartbreak.  I can’t think of anyone who hasn’t.    I think just having that basic understanding- knowing that you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling- makes those new, intimidating situations, like those listed above, more manageable.

I do want to say this.  Don’t let yourself NOT do something because you’re afraid you’ll feel inferior.   Don’t run away because you might have to do something you’re not comfortable with, or because it’s out of the ordinary and isn’t a part of your typical routine.  Don’t let those things stop you because, chances are, you’ll regret it. 

Take a leap of faith and go for it. Ask him out, sign up for that program, or check off that item on your bucket list.  It will change you, I can promise you that.  But it will change you for the better. 

Ah Maryland

Minnesota to Maryland.  They are only 3 states apart on an alphabetized geography list, but 6 on a US map.  Doesn’t seem like much on paper, but 20 hours in a car jam-packed with 10 months worth of crap makes me appreciate truck drivers, and backpackers. 

Perhaps many of you are renowned travelers and 20 hours in a car is next to nothing.  I used to be the girl who could barely stay awake for more than 3 ½ hours of driving, so I was more than worried.  However, I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped out of my car after 11 hours the first day.  Minimal butt numbness had occurred, and it took only 1 AMP energy drink to get me from point A to point B.

I also picked up a few tips along the way.  I won’t bore you with them all, but I’ll give you this one.  If you are driving anywhere east of Illinois and the posted speed limit is 55 mph, drive AT LEAST 70.  You’ll still be the slowest on the road, but you won’t get creamed by the line of cars behind you.

If I’ve learned anything over these past few days, I’d say it’d be this:  Do not enter situations with preconceived judgment.  I heard so many things from Midwesterners about “people from the East Coast” and how crabby, selfish, and inconsiderate they are.  That I should watch my “Minnesota Niceness” because it’ll come back to bite me.  Well, so far it hasn’t.  In fact, it’s been the complete opposite. 

A nice local man started talking to me about my travels at the first gas station I hit in Maryland.  Told me that I’d have a great time being near the ocean, and that I should stop by an auto shop to have them patch the small rust spot on my car because the salt water in the air could cause further damage.  Crabby?  Selfish?  Inconsiderate was he?  I think not.

I’ve never believed in that “A smile can brighten someone’s day” phrase as much as I do now.   Yes, people in Maryland do not smile as much as those in the Midwest, but that doesn’t mean I should smile less because I’m here.   It makes me want to smile more.  Because the look you get from people- that initial “why is she smiling at me?” look that turns to “oh, she’s really just trying to be nice” look- is entirely worth it. They are truly grateful for being acknowledged.   

I feel that Midwesterners find smiling to be common courtesy, yet when so many are given they sometimes become less meaningful.   People in Maryland may not show their pearly whites as much, but they show their appreciation for a received smile much more than those in the Midwest do.

 And I think that is a concept we all can learn from.