Karaoke

Like most people, I like to sing.  But I have some stipulations for myself when it comes to singing….

1.       Make it count and sing loud in the car.

2.       Don’t sing in front of people.

That’s it.  I try to stick to those two simple rules.  When your friends won’t stop pestering you and threaten to tell random, handsome strangers about things you’ve done in the past if you don’t sing karaoke with them, however, it becomes increasingly hard to follow rule #2. 

I try to politely tell people that I’m not a fan of karaoke.  And by “not a fan,” I mean loathe.  We’re talking the type of hate you have for the girl who stole your first crush in 2^nd grade.  

When friends mention the treacherous activity I get this blank look on my face.  And, honestly, I try to maintain that look.  My face contains no expression for two reasons.  One, my mind flashes forward to how many people would be keeling over, using both hands to cover their ears if I got up and attempted Miriah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby.”  Two, I feel that if I maintain a straight, expressionless face that no one will see the signs of panic and dread that usually wash over me.   Seriously, I’d rather give a speech or seminar presentation than sing karaoke.

It’s extremely entertaining to watch, but I would never wish for anyone to have to put up with my hideousness of a voice.  William Hung + that “Friday” girl = my voice.  I used to love acting, until I found out that all the fun theater plays are musicals.  

I’m tone deaf, and I’ve accepted that.  If the music is playing and the artist is singing, then I can usually jump in and sound like a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.  If you make me sing alone, be prepared for a -7. 

I’ve thought about karaoke a lot, and if placed in a situation where I ABSOLUTELY could NOT get out of it, there is only one song I would agree on singing to. 

“Tequila,” by The Champs.

I Don't Know What To Do

Frustration is an emotion that everyone becomes familiar with on a regular basis.  Most of the time I can pinpoint what it is that I am so frustrated with, whether it be a person, an object, or a situation.  This time I’m in utter uncertainty. 

I’m frustrated because I don’t know why I can’t pinpoint what exactly is making me miserable.  I spent one week on what I thought was going to be just another typical vacation.  To my surprise, it was much more than that.  I felt like I belonged there.  I loved the atmosphere, the people, the commotion.  I was exactly where I needed and wanted to be.  I met the most unbelievable man, and while I spent only a small amount of time with him, I can honestly say that I felt something that I’ve never felt before.  

I can’t explain all of the emotions I had stepping back onto WI soil.  Never have I experienced anything like it.  Invisible bricks had been placed on my chest, making breathing unbearable.  A huge lump has taken up permanent residence in my throat.  I feel as if there is a part of me lying dead in the pit of my stomach.  Some lost girl lying on her back, arms and legs bent at awkward angles.  My surroundings consist of faded, gray objects with little meaning and I find myself wanting to run away from it all.  I want to run back to what felt right.

I want to understand why God takes us places and allows us to meet phenomenal people, only to tear those wonderful things from us right away.  This man that I met was so unique and infallible, and because of our situation I will never know if something could have come of it.  If I feel like this, do I do something about it, and if so, what?  When do you start taking things into your own hands and when do you just leave it up to God?  I need to know, because nothing in my life feels right right now.  The things I was once excited about barely concern me, and my future plans have turned into a hazy cloud. 

I’m at a loss.  Not only because I may never see this man again, but also because I don’t know what to do about it.  

Inspiration

It’s been awhile since I last posted, and I’m trying to figure out exactly why.  I thought about blaming it on not having enough time or excessive fatigue.   While those are the excuses I use for just about everything, I realized that those wouldn’t cut it this time.

I eventually figured it out.   Nothing in my life was happening, and many of you know how uneventful it can be living in a small town.    Inspiration was lacking.  It was that simple. 

I also figured out that sitting around waiting to be inspired can be the biggest waste of time.  You can’t always sit around expecting to be entertained.  Things happen that make our lives interesting all the time; you meet new people or witness an amazing scene.  But sometimes we go weeks without anything like that occurring.  Well, that’s how it was for me at least. 

I feel it’s times like these that you have to make an effort to seek out activities that inspire you.  Sometimes you have to take that extra step to find a reason to keep going, to continue pursuing your purpose on this earth.   It takes a lot of time and thought, but actively finding an activity that you truly care about can be the motivation you need. 

You never know what type of activity can bring about that inspiration.  It may be volunteering, undertaking a new hobby, or attempting a personal challenge that you never thought possible (a challenge that even others have told you you’d fail at). 

For me, it was the latter.  What is it for you?