Popularity Texts....Really?!

Someone told me once that they felt better about themself when they received texts.  Ok, I can sort of see where they are coming from.  Who doesn’t like to get the occasional, “Hey, how r u?” texts?  But the idea that popularity is measured based on the number of those little messages you receive in a day is a little outrageous to me.   

Popularity used to be a concept that was only mentioned in conversations regarding high school and cheer leader moms.  Now people come to me and comment about how many texts they’ve received in the past hour.  That they had this incredible conversation with so and so while at “work”.  As if they’re going to lure me into thinking that random people sending them grammatically incorrect sentences via phone makes them popular.   Sorry, I’m not buying into your idea that you are well-liked when those individuals would rather text you than suffer through something as simple as being in your presence or, better yet, calling you. 

Those little texts may make a person feel better for a quick moment, but talking with people and interacting with others sans technology provides more comfort than a phone ever could.  

Stick Figures and Inappropriate Words

Why games are so great:  

Scrabble:  You can get away with using “inappropriate” words.  Who would have thought that “ASSHOLE” would score you 10 points, plus the 50 for using all your letters.

Pictionary:  Your crappy stick figure drawing skills come in handy.  No art degree?  No problem.  Remember, speed trumps artistic ability in this game.

Trouble:  Although a simple child’s game, nobody wants to confess that the “pa-tink” sound that the trouble dome makes when you press it is the best part of the whole game.

Payday:  You get $100 from each player on your birthday, and you can win big bucks if you participate in the lottery.  Might as well take advantage, because who has 100 real dollars to spend on lotto tickets every week?

War:  You have a 50% chance of winning, and that rush of anticipation you get when you have a ‘double’ war comes close to the feelings you used to have on Christmas Eve.

Technology and new gadgets come and go, but they can never match good ole sit-down-in-your-living-room-next-to-the-person-you-are-playing board games.  So get off your computer, grab a roommate, and play a game or two.  

Hire Me!

Applications suck.  Filling out endless paperwork and answering ridiculous questions you would never answer anywhere else is a pain in the ass.  And it’s sad to think that a person is never going to appear or look better than when they fill out an application. 

                “Hi, my name is John.  I currently provide a warm and welcoming atmosphere for customers and handle complex computer equipment.  I fully understand the processes associated with ordering, receiving, and stocking inventory, and I have become proficient in many of these areas.  Please hire me.”

                   In reality we would write, “Hi.  I’m John.  I work in a grocery store”. 

But we can’t because when we don’t sugar coat everything, we look like a terribly lazy human being.

However, maybe in some instances we ARE actually qualified for the job.  Sometimes we have everything the employer/ director is looking for, but we feel that we are less than adequate. That, next to someone else, we will look like a fool. 

Do you back out?  Remove your application and attempt someplace else?  Someplace that has lower standards where you know you will be accepted or hired?   This is a hard choice.  We all need money to live, and a job is pretty much the only way we can make that money.  So do you apply for what is guaranteed; what will provide security, but at the same time be mundane and less than thrilling?  Or do you put yourself out there and attempt the seemingly impossible? An attempt that could lead to new opportunities and possibilities?

Ultimately, it’s your call.  I do hope that you see your potential and understand your capabilities, and that you take a chance.  If, at least, every once in awhile.

Broken Hearts

Breaking a heart isn’t considered a serious crime.  Sometimes I think it should be.  While theft sets you back a flat screen TV or a large chunk of cash, a broken heart leaves you with feelings of worthlessness, despair, and confusion that lasts a lifetime, or what seems to be a lifetime.  I’ll take the stolen TV over my heart any day.

Time heals all wounds, they say.  I say new experiences and encounters heal wounds.  It may take a few weeks, it may even take a few decades. 

 The way I see it, a person is granted one delicate heart when they are born.  With good experiences it grows, with bad it becomes fractured.  And when it falls in love with another person, it starts giving pieces of itself away.  As that person shares with and confides in the other, they take parts of their heart and entrust it to them.  One always hopes that this entrusting turns out for the best, allowing them to grow with the other person.  This leaves them with bigger hearts than when they started, even after giving the other person pieces of it.  But so many times it turns out for the worst.  The person may leave and drop the pieces at their door when they go, but their heart is still this worn out quilt with missing patches.  They cannot place the pieces back into the heart.  They have been altered, misshapen from what the other person has done to them. No amount of stitching or mending can fix what has been done.  It’s permanent.  And now all they’re left with is a damaged heart, its missing segments lying at their feet.  

Even though the heart cannot be repaired, it can still grow.  The heart can’t take back the old pieces it gave away, but it can grow and fill in those missing areas.  The only catch is that that growth requires a lot of care and patience.  Here is a list of the things I believe aid in the healing and growing process. 

-Eye opening experiences: Traveling, spontaneous activities, learning new hobbies

- Befriending people that adopt open-mindedness

- Nature

- Seeing the humor in everyday occurrences.

- Charity

- Prayer

- Silence

It may feel like your heart will never be fully healed.  That all of the fractured relationships you have been through have done you in.  It may feel like you will never be able to get over those constant feelings of loneliness, heartache, and disconnect.  That those empty spaces will always be there and that no amount of care will heal or allow your heart to grow.

But I promise you, it will. 

Are You Happy?

Thinking about happiness used to be a simple concept for me to grasp.  My car, nice clothes, money.  Those things made me happy.  Now happiness seems to encompass a whole new realm, simply because there are many ways to look at it. 

I was reading a great book about an excellent writer and Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton.  He wrote about happiness and freedom in a way that caught my attention.  This is what I got out of it…

Certain aspects within society, along with material objects, give us the illusion of what happiness looks like.  These “things” often leave us feeling emptier than before. “They may promise freedom, but… if anyone is dominated by anything, then he or she is a slave to it” (Simsic).  

Then this got me thinking about the relationships we create with others, and how much we rely on certain people to make us happy.  Do we place certain expectations on boyfriends, girlfriends, best buds, or parents?  Expectations and promises that, if not met, could lead to unhappiness?   I know I have.  

We become trapped.  We say to ourselves that we are not worth anything unless we are with another person or have a 52" flat screen TV.  That we will not be happy unless we have this, this, and this in our life.

I think we need to try and figure out what our own inner happiness looks like.  And we should strive to reach it despite what others say or do.  We need to know  and understand that happiness so we can GIVE that happiness away to others, rather than rely on getting it from somone/ something else.

I want to be comfortable with myself, regardless of who or what is in my life.  Can I one day say to myself, “I love what I do.  I am my own person and stand up for what I believe in.  And no matter what others in my life say or do, I am happy with who I am and who I have become”. 

Can you?

Boys vs. Men

I can’t speak for every woman out there, but I’d bet that about 99.9% of us wish to be pursued by a man.  Not a boy.  A man.  Yes, there are a handful of us that like to fool around with the bad boys, but that phase usually lasts only a few years during our 20’s.  We then start to realize that spiked hair, baggy jeans, and foul mouths won’t be able to comfort or console us during the hard times.  These features are not exactly what we consider to be father/role model material either.

So, I’ve conducted a list.  A list for women that will allow them to identify the characteristics of what the majority of great men should embody, and for men an easy list to refer to when wondering what women are looking for.  If I miss something, please feel free to add more to the comments section below.   

Boys	Men
Wear t-shirts and baggy, ripped jeans that hang below their asses.	Look put together.  They adorn nice shirts tucked into non-holey pants and wear a belt.
Slouch and avoid eye contact.	Walk with confidence.  They look and smile at people.
Say “fucking” before every noun.	Curse only when they are extremely angry or jam their finger while working in the garage.
Completely ignore others in the room while watching TV.	Acknowledge those around them when watching shows or playing video games.
Say “MmmHmm” or mumble, in addition to looking glazed over, when someone talks with them.	Actively listen and respond in conversations.
Burp loudly, on purpose.  Then smiles about it.	Burp, but then say “excuse me”.
Ask women to sleep with them after knowing them for less than a week.	Are willing to wait until the woman is ready and comfortable.
Talk only about themselves.	Ask questions and are genuinely interested in their date’s life.
Spend time with their partner only when it is convenient for them.	Make time to be with their partner.
Drink excessive amounts of alcohol to forget about life.	Deals with their life situations head on, and drinks moderately.
Say "thank you" once a year, and speaks his mind only if it involves video games, football, or beer.	Says "thank you" often, and tells his girlfriend/wife how much she means to him.

If you “psshh”ed or laughed after reading every boy comment, you’re still a boy.  I don’t care how old you are.  You are not a man.  And women, don’t settle for a guy that will treat you with little or no respect.  You deserve much more than that.

Let's Go on a Date

You’d like to take me out?

Well, I suppose that’d be alright.

But I must say one thing

For the sake of the night.

No dinner and a movie. 

Please, take me somewhere new. 

Hiking, a ballgame,

Someplace out of the blue.

Tell me about your favorite game,  

oldest childhood toy, and worst family trip. 

Do you like reunions,

Or would you rather skip?

Don’t marvel me with your stories

About how much you go out. 

Because really, the amount of beer you can drink

Is nothing to brag about.

I care more about your attitude

And your respect for others.

Your ability to relate to people

And the way you treat your mother.

So please, be yourself

And stop trying to impress.

I have no doubt

That it will end in success.

So, the question remains

After all I’ve written about.

Do you think that you still

would want to go out?