Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It's Normal

I think it’s amusing when people talk about normalcy.   If asked, most people would say that, yes, they are “normal”. 
I’d like to know what they mean by that. 
Because YOU think you’re normal.  I think I’M normal.  Everyone out there thinks they are normal in the ways that they live. 

You hear your roommate say, “I eat my cottage cheese with ketchup.  That’s totally normal.  People do it all the time”.   Yet you’re thinking, “Uh, no.  That is not normal”.   And then six seconds later you see them folding their clothes this way and that, wondering who, if anyone, taught them how to fold clothes ‘the right way’.   
That same roomate may think that your “normal” fetish with Justin Beiber is absolutely disturbing. 

People are so incredibly different (which is great and makes life interesting), but everyone thinks that every other person, other than themself, is NOT normal. 
So who’s actually normal?  Either we’re ALL normal, or we’re all completely and utterly insane.   
I’m going with utterly insane. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Toilet Paper

Someone explain to me why universities and department stores resort to buying those excessively large, see-through rolls of toilet paper over the soft, cushiony ones.  Honestly, I would really like to know. 
Sure, it may seem cheaper, but it’s not.  For those of us that pee more than 2 teaspoons of fluid, we need adequate toilet paper to feel somewhat clean and not like a 2 year old still potty training.  I need enough so that nothing will seep through, because there is nothing worse than a urine soaked hand upon leaving a public restroom.  Really, that stuff is no better than the KimWipes we use in the biology lab to clean the microscope lenses.  Let me tell you, when I get into a stall and see that massive black, TP holding container along the wall, I know I will leave using a good fourth of it.  Make that half if I take a good shit.
We’ve all resorted to using toilet paper for the emergency Kleenex.  College students and those on a budget understand.  (Who has or wants to spend extra money to buy actual tissues?)  You’re sick and all you want is your mom and some soup, yet what do you get?  An incredibly red, scratchy nose and an appointment with the anger management therapist.   So in the end you are stuck with an ogre looking face (from the nasty TP Kleenex scrapes and the scowl you acquire from them) and a raw ass from the rough wiping.  
I do think that universities and other stores would make better names for themselves if they would buy slightly higher quality toilet paper.  We wouldn’t have to use and waste so much, and people would just be plain happier. 
So to all the businesses and universities, here is just a small word of advice from a frequent consumer.    
Buy Cottonelle. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Drama

The thought of how much people thrive off of drama is shocking.  Drama is sort of like one of those love-hate relationships.  Like the kind you have with your dog.  You love him to pieces- his puppy dog eyes, constant love, and permanent smile that always makes your day better.  But you hate standing out in the cold while he spends 5 minutes taking a dump.   The love supersedes the hate, though, so you keep him. 
Drama is much the same.  We love talking about the latest in sports, news, and…. (people’s favorite) the friend-that-we-currently-have-but-is-on-the-verge-of-becoming-an-acquaintance.   We love talking about this person to anyone and everyone that will listen.  Before you know it, “he said she said” starts turning corners and makes its way into your lap.  You end up turning into that “friend” you were originally gossiping about.  That, we hate.
Yet we still do it.  We still talk and talk and talk even when we know there are consequences at stake.  But why?  Well, life would be boring, some would say.   
I don’t understand it all.  Give me a cup of coffee, a scone, and a friend that wants to talk about those 2 food items and I’m good to go.  This, of course, would be on some people’s “top 10 most boring conversation topics” list, but I’m okay with that.  Travel, insights on life, books.   And don’t even get me going on diseases, nutrition deficiencies, and ailments.  I like it all.  Just keep me away from politics and the girl sitting over there.  Those things I don’t want to talk about.
But, drama will always be a part of our world.  So talk about what you wish.  Just be prepared.
And watch your back ;)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Annoying Things That Girls Do....

I’m a girl (obviously), and I know I do annoying things that bug people.  Especially when those people are guys.  But here are a few things that many of my friends and other girl acquaintances do that annoy even me. 
1)      Talking like a baby while conversing with their boyfriend on the phone or in person. 

Okay, you are dating this man to see if the two of you mesh well together.  You are trying to determine whether or not you’ll be able to start a family someday.  A family where the girl will be the mother.  Not the 5 year old kid.  Please, stop talking like one.   

2)      The girlfriend of the ex-boyfriend gives you wicked looks and stares you down as you catch her looking at you out of the corner of your eye.  

First of all, I broke up with him for a reason.  I don’t want him back. 
Secondly, because of that fact you don’t need to feel threatened by me. I kind of feel bad for you, so stop giving me the evil eye. 


3)      Girls flirting with men when they 1) aren’t even that interested, but just enjoy participating in the flirting game or 2) already have a man.

You’re giving the guy the wrong idea.  And you’re making the other girls around you angry, disgusted, and jealous.  Mostly disgusted.


4)      Girls pretending to be weak, “delicate”, or fragile just so others will feel inclined to do all the hard work. 

You have arms just like everyone else, which means you can lift and move boxes, mop, and haul equipment just as well as the next person.