The Appetite

Unique places, exceptional sights.  Delectable food, and new relationships.  The appeal, so great, becomes a riveting temptation.  Like a magnet drawn to its charm.  Then, dull monotony.  Not right away, of course, but over time. 

I love these new experiences.  I love being a part of it.  That is, until I find myself jaded.  The charm turns to displeasure after awhile.  No longer full of flavor, you’re left with a rather bland dish and little aftertaste.  Only can the appetite be cured with an entirely different menu, or change of scenery altogether.   

Will I ever satisfy my appetite?  I often ask myself this.  I jump from one thing to the next, only to become bored and lifeless.  How far will I have to go to find the next best thing?  Constantly yearning for more, one might call it selfishness.  Maybe it’s something more discreet, or maybe it’s something that can’t be put into exact words. 

Perhaps it’s a feeling, deep down.  An indefinable fear that is fed when one settles for something less than they deserve.  Or, maybe that appetite just wants to continue to be nurtured with established routine and contentment. 

Deep, Powerful Desire

Have you ever found yourself so drawn to something that it takes over your complete existence?  Hour to hour, day to day you think about it.  Thoughts can be entirely good or entirely immoral, but what about the ones that might be a combination of the two?  At one moment the very thought makes you feel overjoyed, and then the next it drags you down to the bottom of a dark lake, suffocating your every move. 

The feelings become apparent over time, but sometimes all at once.  Unexpected, yet so natural.   Is it wrong to think this way?  Right to some degree?  It must be if the feelings are so strong. 

I recently read a fantastic book that dropped the notion that humans stand in the middle of God and the Devil, holding the hands of each.  Too afraid to let go of either for fear of what they’d be missing, they cling.  I can’t say I disagree entirely. 

What is it that draws us, what attracts us to these situations of greed?  We could probably avoid it, easily.  Yet, it entices us with desires that fulfill what we considered implausible. 

We feel that it is our one and only chance, so we continue to pursue it.  It’s ok because it’s clearly a sign, no?   We justify.  We justify our feelings, our actions, because we know the pain and hurt of losing what we defend is too much to bear alone.  

Only when it starts to affect us this way do we realize our feelings sink much deeper.  We want something we don’t have.  And when we see the rewards reaped from those who do have it, we want it that much more. 

Where else could I find what they possess? 

Nowhere.  

So the thoughts, the actions, continue.  Sometimes unintentionally.  Sometimes not.

"Us" and "Them"

I had the opportunity to listen to this astounding speaker last weekend.  Seeing him approach the podium, his age made known by the wrinkles and graying hair, I thought I’d have to struggle to keep my eyes open.  I was entirely wrong. 

 It was amazing listening to this man.  There was so much passion behind his words, and you could tell he was speaking from the heart of a man where only wisdom and experience reside.  But he spoke about a concept that I know is familiar to everyone.

He talked about “Us” and “Them”.  “Those” people in that town are not like or associated with “Us”.  They dress differently and talk differently, and so they are not like us in any way.  Those people are from another state or country; they are not us. 

I know we’ve all thought this way before.  It’s a natural thought, and one that deserves attention.  I fell into this thought process not 4 weeks ago when I moved to Maryland.  I, being from Wisconsin, was not a Maryland resident.   Everyone I met was “different”; they weren’t like me. 

Yet, now that I’ve been here a month, I associate myself with Maryland.  “Hi.  I’m Sarah, and a proud resident of Maryland!  I smile when I see crab on a menu and I have a small place in my heart for the Oriole’s”.  Okay, I don’t say these things out loud, but I think them.  I feel like I am a small part, but a part nonetheless, of MD.  I now tell others that I am one of “them”.   But what changed my mindset?  Is it just because I’m now living in their state?  I guess.  When you think about it, though, the only thing that really sets me apart is my accent.  The people in MD still eat and breathe like the people in WI.  They work, go to church, and have parties just like the people in WI.  I now wonder why I separated them into different categories. 

It’s weird how we distinguish between “us” and “them”.  We don’t associate people or things with “us” until we experience them, until they are a part of our everyday lives.  3 months ago I never associated the people of MD with myself, and yet here I am now.  The same is true for the people from Oregon or India.  I don’t associate them with myself…..right now.  But that’s not to say I won’t someday. 

We get caught up in who we are with and who we are connected to.  In reality, we’re connected to everyone in some small way or another.  We may never go certain places or meet certain people, but we are connected.  Think about the situations you find yourself in.  Try to look past “them”, the judgment and preconceived notions.  

You never know when “they” could turn into “us”.