I’m frustrated because I don’t know why I can’t pinpoint what exactly is making me miserable. I spent one week on what I thought was going to be just another typical vacation. To my surprise, it was much more than that. I felt like I belonged there. I loved the atmosphere, the people, the commotion. I was exactly where I needed and wanted to be. I met the most unbelievable man, and while I spent only a small amount of time with him, I can honestly say that I felt something that I’ve never felt before.
I can’t explain all of the emotions I had stepping back onto WI soil. Never have I experienced anything like it. Invisible bricks had been placed on my chest, making breathing unbearable. A huge lump has taken up permanent residence in my throat. I feel as if there is a part of me lying dead in the pit of my stomach. Some lost girl lying on her back, arms and legs bent at awkward angles. My surroundings consist of faded, gray objects with little meaning and I find myself wanting to run away from it all. I want to run back to what felt right.
I want to understand why God takes us places and allows us to meet phenomenal people, only to tear those wonderful things from us right away. This man that I met was so unique and infallible, and because of our situation I will never know if something could have come of it. If I feel like this, do I do something about it, and if so, what? When do you start taking things into your own hands and when do you just leave it up to God? I need to know, because nothing in my life feels right right now. The things I was once excited about barely concern me, and my future plans have turned into a hazy cloud.
I’m at a loss. Not only because I may never see this man again, but also because I don’t know what to do about it.
Maybe this was God's way of showing you a different road in life. If you don't feel it was just the excitement of vacation (meeting new people, getting away from work and stress) and that it's the place for you to be, follow your heart! Contact the man, check out work opportunities in the area. Sometimes life hands us amazing opportunities and we squander them because we think we're supposed to be stuck in one place or another. Maybe this was another door opening in your life and now you have the choice of stepping through it and discovering new things, or staying behind it and living the way you are now. I'm not saying act irrationally and just move your life to a new place, but seriously take some time to consider what it would be like to live somewhere else. If you're going to be happier, maybe it's something to take a chance on.
ReplyDeleteHunt him down and stalk him!
ReplyDeleteI think the quote at the top of your blog pretty much sums it up! <3
ReplyDelete